What an ex-gang member taught me about redemption

Drugs, guns, and love - oh my!

“I’d have my guns right next to me,” my Lyft driver explained, pointing to the front passenger seat right next to him, “and would just drive around the South Side until I found someone I could threaten and rob.”

Oh god, I thought and opened the Lyft app to confirm I was in the correct car as my mind raced. Thankfully, I was in the correct car and the driver did indeed have a 4.9+ rating with hundreds of reviews, so that eased my tension, though I was still alert.

“Man, I went to jail so many times, you have no idea. I knew the judges on a first name basis,” he continued. 

I had just landed at the airport and was taking a Lyft back to my apartment. I’m not usually a chatty person in a cab, but for some reason the driver and I felt like talking. At first, he asked me about my trip and where I’m from and I asked him the same. We then bonded over our favorite fried chicken and taco places in the city, coupled with the rising price of eggs. It wasn’t until I asked him how long he had been a Lyft driver that he opened up about his past – doing drugs, becoming involved with the wrong crowd, and becoming a gang member. 

“I was in it so deep, I didn’t know how to get out. We had quotas we had to meet for how much money we had to bring in. It was intense,” he said.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking and feel comfortable sharing, how did you get out?” I asked, still treading lightly around this conversation.

“I just had a son and his mother wasn’t present at all. I couldn’t risk going to jail and randomly not be there for him for a week or a month or a year. So, one day, I quit cold turkey. Got rid of my guns. Packed my bags and left the city with him for a couple of years to get off the gang’s grid.”

For someone who typically has less than average conversations in cab rides, I was shocked that he was opening up this deeply to me. 

“I needed to be able to look my son in the eye and say I did everything I could to raise him well and not continue the cycle. Even now, the gang might be looking for me, but I keep a low profile and don’t live anywhere near where they go, so hopefully they forgot about me by now or they’re dead,” he said, laughing. “But, I had to go through all that shit to understand who I am as a person and my values. Now I work hard so my son can finish high school and maybe go to college.”

His story reminded me of Angulimala, a tale from Buddhist scriptures about a murderer who terrorized villagers, killed lone travelers, cut their fingers, and wore them as a necklace. 

One day, Angulimala saw Buddha walking in the forest and wanted to kill him, but no matter how fast Angulimala ran, he could never catch up with him. At one point, he yelled at Buddha to stop so he could cut his fingers off. Buddha responded that if it made him happy, by all means, he could cut off his fingers. Angulimala was shocked at the response and by Buddha’s love and presence that he immediately threw his weapons and changed his ways. 

Despite killing almost a thousand people, Angulimala achieved a form of enlightenment.

So, how do these two stories relate to yoga?

In the yoga sutras, often regarded as the basis of yoga philosophy, there are sections on how to achieve a healthy and fulfilling life (aka: eight limbs of ashtanga yoga) including the notion of sauca, or purity of body and mind. 

When we clear the mind of its turbulent emotions like hatred, greed, or delusion, we can focus on the higher aspects of living consciously. We are less distracted by outside stimulations that take us away from being centered and we can lead more compassionate and loving lives.

So, remember, anyone’s life – from my Lyft driver’s, to Angulimala’s, to yours, can be transformed even if it may seem impossible. If a murderer can become a monk and a gang member can break free from a cruel system, you too can achieve the dreams you’ve been aspiring towards and live a conscious and compassionate life.